The Tantra of Relationships

By Kirin Khalsa

All of life is about relationships.  Relationship with the breath, relationship with the body, relationship with the mind, relationship with the self, relationship with the sky,  relationship with the earth, relationship with the ether.  Where you look and not find yourself in relationship?  Since relationships seem to be woven into the very fabric of life the question remains: how can your interactions be the purest, the holiest, the most elevating they can be? In short, how can all your relationships be Holy, Sacred and Divine?  This is the path of discovery into Tantra, the Tantra of relationships.  This path teaches you how to enjoy the infinity of love as it flows eternally through you. 

When the divinity of loves’ infinity flows through your mortal form into your conscious awareness and experience what could be better?  Now you feel and know the meaning of life, fulfillment, joy and delight are everywhere.  You smell a fragrant rose and let the smell permeate your being.  This one act becomes the most divine of the divine.  Life unfolds, moment by moment, you feel guided and life makes sense. 

When you open to life and then move deeply into your interactions with another this is called intimacy.  The word intimate means “into me see”.  The other person, with whom we are intimate with, may see many aspects of us.  Maybe even aspects of ourselves we didn’t know we had or would prefer to forget we had.  Through the closeness of intimacy much can be known, revealed and learned.  But when is it too much closeness?  Is there a point at which you feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to do?

What often begins to happen when one starts to feel closeness and intimacy is unresolved feelings and issues may surface from the past.  It is at this point many people look for a way out because they don’t know the way through.  Think about it, how often in your mind are you looking for an escape?  Many people look for something to numb them as they grab food, watch TV or find other distractions when they don’t know how to get needs met.  In that moment, something has happened,  the divine is forgotten, infinity is not coming to meet us with every breath,  with every thought.  Then pain enters, pain comes because the flow of love is broken, you’ve locked horns with your mate, your loved ones. 

What to do, where to run, where to hide? If one person or the other does not leave physically the tendency is to either explode out in anger or draw the energy in closing down the flow of emotions,  the mind and the heart.  When the heart begins the close the sweet flavors of life become bland, even bitter.  The quality of life, the depth of life diminishes.  Little by little we begin to die before we are dead and this is the greatest sadness of all.  Life calls to us to experience it  and we must welcome it and invite us in.  This requires and openness, a freedom, a freedom that only comes from a willing heart. 

Now let’s ask the question:  How does one open the heart and live with an open heart in a complex world with continual sensory input and stimulation?  In a world where NO was the norm to the child and the frustrations of the parents became the problem of the child.  In a world where there is a backlog of unfulfilled desires and unexpressed pain.  In a world where you might wonder if there is anyone out there to listen,  to care about you and your needs. 

It is the goal of tantra to navigate these turbulent seas and heal the past so that the rushing rivers of life take you into the vast sea of infinity.  Tantra allows and guides you through this raging intensity, so that you are not being buried alive on your way to the ocean of bliss.  Instead you are guided into a tapestry of abundance, the richness of life, and the joy of life. 

Guru Kirin is a spiritual guide who supports you on your life’s journey.  She is co-founder of KRIYA, Kundalini Rising International Yoga Academy.  KRIYA offers Yogic Trainings including Kundalini Teacher Trainings and Tantra Trainings.  She is a relationship coach supporting people in intimacy and relationship skills including Compassionate Non-violent Communication.  

Copyright by Kirin Khalsa 2008

   e-mail:kirinkk@yahoo.com